Out of control

These past weeks have been an interesting battle. By battle I mean a constant struggle with my inner thoughts. Everyday for the past few weeks I cannot shut my brain off! It has affected me in the worst possibly way I could ever fathom. I am honestly to the point of calling it quits and checking myself into a mental hospital.

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed and unsatisfied with your life you no longer know how to survive? Well folks, I have and it’s a living nightmare.

All i want to do is be successful, yet I am truly afraid of achieving my goals. I have literally gone insane overthinking about what the fuck I want to do with my life. One minute I want to become a computer programmer to an Occupational therapist, and now an addiction/mental health therapist. What in the hell is wrong with me!?

Why is this so difficult? I am 29 and I’m running out of time. The sad part is I want to make money and become this renowned successful being yet am to afraid to leave my own house.

I have no idea where to start. Do I spend four years getting my bachelors degree followed by a masters? Ya, right, then I will be 35/36 with thousands in debt.

I have not been sleeping due to my obsessive reoccurring thoughts.

To top it all off I’m in a new town, have no friends and can barely afford rent. I feel completely helpless and alone.


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Comments (2)


    Massive debt kills. Start with a 2 year degree in business. That will cover most of the basic courses you need for most 4 year degrees anyways. Also, most jobs ask for a bachelors degree for entry level positions.

    Many companies will pay for most, if not all, of courses in work related fields so continue the education on their dime if you decide on a 4 year degree; then after serving a couple additional years you can leave the company without the additional debt.

    September 16, 2016
  2. dianna

    Thanks, now I just need to find a company that will pay for my schooling!!

    January 01, 2017